Popular actor and comedian Hari Bansha Acharya believes in the institution of marriage. Married twice during his lifetime, Acharya talks about the importance of matrimony and how martial bliss has led him to become more creative.
1.
My moral compass
A wife is the moral compass for any man. She is a guardian and a disciplinarian. It is a universal truth that no parent will ever be always with their children. In a way, a mother hands over his son to her daughter-in-law. In that regard, for a man, his wife is the guardian after his mother.
2.
I became a better person
I first met Mira in 1982. I used to live at Naxal then and she was my neighbour. I was infatuated by her at the first sight. She was charming, soft-spoken and very friendly while I was loud and boisterous.
Even when I was vocal when angry, it was Mira’s calm way of talking that always cooled me down. Eventually, I stopped being angry altogether, thanks to her. Mira never retorted.
It was this very quality of her voice that I thought was fit for the radio. I used to take her along with me whenever I had recording sessions at Radio Nepal. Later, she started presenting several programmes for Radio Nepal.
3.
You become directionless in her absence
After Mira gave birth to our two sons, she started having problems with her heart. It was 1990 when I took her to Delhi for treatment. The doctors suggested that she install a pacemaker for proper blood circulation. She led a comfortable life for 22 years after the treatment, but eventually died in 2012.
After her death, I was directionless. I left my old home and started living at Balkot. During those years, almost everyone close to me suggested me to get married again. Basundhara (Bhusal) didi was especially concerned about the direction my life was headed towards. But I was adamant: I wanted someone who had gone through similar circumstances. I thought that way, she would understand me better.
4.
She is a housemaker
In a way, I shot an arrow in the dark when I decided to marry again. I met Ramila, my second wife, through Basundhara didi. She had also lost her partner 11 years ago with whom she had a son.
“Would I be able to look after your household?” she told me at our very first meeting. I found my answer in her question that day. Ramila took care of my sons and our home after Mira’s demise. But more than I, I feel she understands the tragedy I have gone through because she has also gone through similar circumstances. In a way, I feel the reason I married her – to get a grip after Mira’s death – is also the reason she chose me as her second husband. We emphatise with each other. After Ramila entered my life, it has been nothing but good.
5.
I got a second chance in life
I have a renewed zest for life after my second marriage. I have found the same happiness with Ramila that I had once shared with Mira. I think I could’ve become an alcoholic if it hadn’t been for Ramila. If things hadn’t gone smoothly with Ramila, I would’ve been more stressed out than before. It would, in turn, make me less creative.
Thankfully, I have found a second life. I feel very fortunate to have married for the second time.
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